I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
