Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize