gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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