Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.

Fav 34 4911 1598
share tweet
(843): View more from South Carolina

I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.

Fav 7 1236 4321
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(219): View more from Indiana

My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?

Fav 24 6169 2809
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.

Fav 12 6520 1390
share tweet
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war

Fav 12 4383 1138
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.

Fav 15 2935 958
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.

(1-305): View more from Florida

God Bless cinco de mayo

Fav 2 1431 715
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(573): View more from Missouri

You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.

Fav 6 1587 742
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(323): View more from California

Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.

Fav 5 816 734
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT