Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.

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(248): I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness. http://tfl.nu/dved

Replies (3) Good night (1538) Bad night (903)
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(551): View more from New Jersey

Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva

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(551): Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva http://tfl.nu/0m5z

Replies (84) Good night (5487) Bad night (1736)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.

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(973): all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist. http://tfl.nu/t7vc

Replies (27) Good night (5591) Bad night (1199)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead

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(304): Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead http://tfl.nu/8a8b

Replies (25) Good night (4733) Bad night (1746)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.

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(919): It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis. http://tfl.nu/c5pc

Replies (9) Good night (1387) Bad night (3517)
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(416): View more from Toronto

drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.

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(416): drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets. http://tfl.nu/drct

Replies (7) Good night (3439) Bad night (907)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me

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(719): I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me http://tfl.nu/in6y

Replies (3) Good night (2110) Bad night (958)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"

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(701): Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro" http://tfl.nu/ltp9

Replies (3) Good night (2193) Bad night (1095)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.

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(313): I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents. http://tfl.nu/eaix

Replies (6) Good night (3225) Bad night (1020)
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(734): View more from Michigan

He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.

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(734): He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls. http://tfl.nu/b02k

Replies (6) Good night (2106) Bad night (498)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice

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(843): You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice http://tfl.nu/t6a0

Replies (7) Good night (451) Bad night (686)
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(650): View more from California

Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.

(415): View more from California

Retirement sounds fun.

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(650): Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea. (415): Retirement sounds fun. http://tfl.nu/wuz3

Replies (2) Good night (557) Bad night (385)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.

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(630): Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure. http://tfl.nu/6394

Replies (5) Good night (451) Bad night (244)
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(817): View more from Texas

I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.

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(817): I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/yxm6

Replies (0) Good night (330) Bad night (202)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY

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(732): I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY http://tfl.nu/jrl0

Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (150)

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