Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  Let's do it. All homo

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  (708): We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks." (1-708): Let's do it. All homo http://tfl.nu/evdg
  Replies (30) Good night (4380) Bad night (638)
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  (716): View more from New York

  do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?

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  (716): do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car? http://tfl.nu/kx3d
  Replies (10) Good night (3093) Bad night (555)
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  (585): View more from New York

  i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW

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  (585): i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW http://tfl.nu/w5kh
  Replies (48) Good night (572) Bad night (3754)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?

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  (978): I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to? http://tfl.nu/b64u
  Replies (21) Good night (4185) Bad night (700)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"

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  (770): All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better" http://tfl.nu/pc1d
  Replies (15) Good night (4582) Bad night (1422)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.

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  (781): his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me. http://tfl.nu/jba1
  Replies (5) Good night (2234) Bad night (860)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.

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  (502): I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day. http://tfl.nu/53ab
  Replies (5) Good night (2147) Bad night (806)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.

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  (717): Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake. http://tfl.nu/07i4
  Replies (14) Good night (1634) Bad night (2501)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?

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  (509): Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right? http://tfl.nu/bnll
  Replies (16) Good night (1705) Bad night (653)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.

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  (402): I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us. http://tfl.nu/si4e
  Replies (3) Good night (1183) Bad night (434)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil

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  (507): I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil http://tfl.nu/ueg4
  Replies (7) Good night (844) Bad night (1587)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes

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  (609): The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes http://tfl.nu/oauk
  Replies (3) Good night (857) Bad night (439)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.

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  (201): This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw. http://tfl.nu/lq9h
  Replies (7) Good night (671) Bad night (994)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.

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  (612): It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected. http://tfl.nu/ebyi
  Replies (4) Good night (811) Bad night (255)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??

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  (716): Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again?? http://tfl.nu/md65
  Replies (4) Good night (245) Bad night (570)

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