She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
