is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
