we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
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I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.