She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other