Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.

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  (847): Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called. http://tfl.nu/lgas
  Replies (21) Good night (3275) Bad night (863)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.

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  (401): They should make Glad Forceflex condoms. http://tfl.nu/qnot
  Replies (12) Good night (5807) Bad night (738)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  what did gay clubs do before lady gaga

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  (512): what did gay clubs do before lady gaga http://tfl.nu/x7iq
  Replies (34) Good night (5778) Bad night (880)
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  (347): View more from New York

  alright she left, finally time to fart up the room

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  (347): alright she left, finally time to fart up the room http://tfl.nu/utm3
  Replies (17) Good night (3630) Bad night (1222)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...

  (845): View more from New York

  Are you serious?

  (917): View more from New York City

  yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...

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  (917): so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head... (845): Are you serious? (917): yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it... http://tfl.nu/iiih
  Replies (25) Good night (862) Bad night (4473)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.

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  (318): I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter. http://tfl.nu/35y3
  Replies (11) Good night (3921) Bad night (940)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.

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  (718): Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much. http://tfl.nu/absj
  Replies (15) Good night (5625) Bad night (1718)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.

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  (336): Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things. http://tfl.nu/s0f9
  Replies (23) Good night (4026) Bad night (1064)
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  (714): View more from California

  Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?

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  (714): Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex? http://tfl.nu/9pxt
  Replies (11) Good night (5080) Bad night (835)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese

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  (203): We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese http://tfl.nu/oc3v
  Replies (11) Good night (2533) Bad night (690)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.

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  (920): But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers. http://tfl.nu/588y
  Replies (6) Good night (1316) Bad night (455)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."

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  (226): While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook." http://tfl.nu/v50o
  Replies (7) Good night (1705) Bad night (382)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yes. It does.

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  (309): It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with (847): Yes. It does. http://tfl.nu/cna3
  Replies (4) Good night (870) Bad night (308)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel

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  (305): He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel http://tfl.nu/vmu7
  Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (267)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed

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  (508): all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed http://tfl.nu/18hn
  Replies (4) Good night (630) Bad night (305)

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