Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?

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(310): So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops? http://tfl.nu/jkax

Replies (33) Good night (992) Bad night (3854)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I wish they made helmets for livers.

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(262): I wish they made helmets for livers. http://tfl.nu/bj92

Replies (12) Good night (5731) Bad night (910)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.

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(908): I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool. http://tfl.nu/5y98

Replies (13) Good night (2113) Bad night (3908)
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(509): View more from Washington

I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?

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(509): I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad? http://tfl.nu/r4ig

Replies (14) Good night (1362) Bad night (2070)
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(386): View more from Florida

Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.

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(386): Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am. http://tfl.nu/mad5

Replies (7) Good night (1601) Bad night (719)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.

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(706): Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon. http://tfl.nu/nu6w

Replies (18) Good night (1339) Bad night (1752)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?

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(519): Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar? http://tfl.nu/o2qi

Replies (21) Good night (1852) Bad night (612)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?

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(402): Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night? http://tfl.nu/skph

Replies (9) Good night (2058) Bad night (455)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"

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(864): I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY" http://tfl.nu/isd1

Replies (7) Good night (1903) Bad night (525)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?

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(262): Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer? http://tfl.nu/h12n

Replies (20) Good night (647) Bad night (813)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.

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(901): I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home. http://tfl.nu/sdsj

Replies (3) Good night (998) Bad night (333)
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(626): View more from California

My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,

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(626): My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing, http://tfl.nu/i8yq

Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (291)
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(+34): View more from Spain

Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.

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(+34): Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one. http://tfl.nu/wwjy

Replies (0) Good night (633) Bad night (254)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.

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(410): I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted. http://tfl.nu/jfss

Replies (1) Good night (744) Bad night (318)
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(561): View more from Florida

Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao

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(561): Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao http://tfl.nu/lnta

Replies (3) Good night (330) Bad night (537)

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