Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.

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  (360): i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now. http://tfl.nu/qgk0
  Replies (6) Good night (2488) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  guys are not supposed to queef...right?

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  (619): guys are not supposed to queef...right? http://tfl.nu/p86m
  Replies (96) Good night (786) Bad night (7069)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.

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  (630): you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car. http://tfl.nu/fzr7
  Replies (18) Good night (5708) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.

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  (626): that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress. http://tfl.nu/stra
  Replies (21) Good night (792) Bad night (5159)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now

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  (301): please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now http://tfl.nu/10rh
  Replies (58) Good night (1334) Bad night (13213)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.

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  (504): She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet. http://tfl.nu/znp0
  Replies (48) Good night (10511) Bad night (1189)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?

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  (740): I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover? http://tfl.nu/ok2o
  Replies (13) Good night (8159) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?

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  (267): how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch? http://tfl.nu/7fe5
  Replies (16) Good night (5144) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.

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  (406): I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name. http://tfl.nu/y6iz
  Replies (3) Good night (3123) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!

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  (432): There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses! http://tfl.nu/cuv6
  Replies (9) Good night (2408) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage

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  (419): who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage http://tfl.nu/wlxq
  Replies (9) Good night (2756) Bad night (1384)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent

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  (907): Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent http://tfl.nu/4dji
  Replies (8) Good night (1313) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.

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  (801): I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck. http://tfl.nu/p42i
  Replies (2) Good night (927) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.

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  (301): I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go. http://tfl.nu/3bnd
  Replies (2) Good night (714) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room

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  (403): I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room http://tfl.nu/v5e3
  Replies (1) Good night (410) Bad night (541)

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