you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho