its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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