i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
