Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
