I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
