we're blogging at a bar
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
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I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
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I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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