I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
high people should be assigned attendants
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
