Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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