Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
