He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
