real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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