Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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