I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
