those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
