I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
