ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
sex in a hospital.. check
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
