I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
