guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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