3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
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I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
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And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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