I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
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Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
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I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My life is pants optional.
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