Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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