We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
