it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
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the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I could fuck to npr.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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