So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
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If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
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I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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