Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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