:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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