brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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