his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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