I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize