let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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