your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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