I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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