i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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