Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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