I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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