I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
