Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
