Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
