porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
