the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
two words...techno handjob
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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