Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
