It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
