Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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