Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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