it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
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You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
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If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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