member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
