i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
