Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
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And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
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Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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