cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
