i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
